Cheaper by 3 dozens. My new hero stats: 3 wives and 35 children

Last Saturday, Sha and I had the unfortunate opportunity to do a small gathering with our old varsity friends at One Utama's Teh Tarik Place. They should really rename the place to Maggi Soup Place because the Teh Tarik blows and the Maggi Soup rules!

While Sha & I were late to join them, they were imagining every hated face they could think of on a baseball at the It's A Hit! Batting Cages, and it was safe to say they were happy, judging by the amount of sweat on them.

While catching up on old and new stories, we managed to squeeze a very interesting fact out from a friend of ours - she has 3 moms and 34 other siblings. Yup, that means his father has three (3) wives and thirty-five (35) (Wait..what?!!) children. While this might be a common thing in places like the Amazon or the deep jungle of Papua New Guinea, this is definitely a rarity in Malaysia, just like Liverpool winning the Barclays Premier League.

So far, this is what I can gather. Her father is 60 years old, her moms are also around that age, the oldest child (her brother from another mother) is 32 years old, 14 children from the first mom, 11 from the second one, and 10 from the third. Her father is quite a successful businessman, owning businesses in Terengganu and Johor.

The "Kalau nak pegi mana2, sewa la bas" joke is not funny to them because they really do have to rent a bus for family outings. You would also need two person to count how many family members they have - all four hands and feet are accounted for. They also remember the names of all the siblings albeit with a little bit of help. If they eat out, they might form a big square arrangement of tables because a round table is definitely out of the question.

And to cap it all off, she has a blissfully happy family. If there's a wedding, every single one of them is a willing volunteer. They even pull long faces if they don't get to do something. The family also makes sure that everyone is being taken care of. If you feel singled out by your small family, then shame on your family.

I get to hear stories on how they keep their family tight and how money is never a problem for them despite being able to form two full-strengthed rugby teams.. plus a few reserves. All I can say is that her father is a very smart person with excellent man-(and woman) management skill.

No, this is not them but it's damn funny though!

If Nak Atau Tak Saje (NATS) Futsal is short of personnel, we can call upon half of this family. What do you guys think?

Welcome to Embarassedville. Population: 1

I guess being blessed with youthful looks (Pergh! I know, go ahead and jump off that bridge) has its' cons.

My first experience as a 'sales assistant' was at a Nicole outlet at Sunway Pyramid, where the wifey was doing her best to contribute to Malaysia's recovering economy. She was in the fitting room. So I stood alone in the store, apart from the two sales assistants (them being girls have nothing to do with this story) sitting behind the counter. I was standing around doing nothing, looking at all the coloured blouses (for Sha, not for me) when a couple walked straight into the shop and the boyfriend, being the gentleman that he was, asked me...

"Excuse me, do you know if there's another Nicole outlet here?"

Deadpanned, I smiled at the boyfriend and told him, "I'm not sure. I don't work here".

"Aiyo, aiyo.. I'm so sorry!". He walked away from the shop with a face as red as the ripest of tomatoes. "Welcome to Embarassedville. Population: 1!" Fair enough, the two sales assistant were giggling. My shirt was nowhere near the two were wearing but yet, I was mistaken for one. And, just for good measure, Sha being Sha, had a blast making fun of me.

I never thought I get to revisit that feeling ever again. Little did I know, it didn't take too long for me to find out...

After a spanking good time with some old varsity friends, Sha decided that she wanted to continue boosting our great country's economy. So, Padini Concept Store at One Utama was the place to be. As I was looking around, with a pants on sale in hand, a young lady came to me and did her best to outdo my previous embarassment...

"Excuse me, do you have this in black and in size 4?"

I smiled at her, without saying a single word. She stared blankly at me and said, "Oh my god, you don't work here, do you?" Trying to spare her blushes, I told her I don't. "OMG, OMG.. I'm so, so sorry!" and a giggle were the response I got from her. For those who are familiar with the place, you would know that the sales assistants over there usually wear light pink t-shirts with light brown khakis, and they're all over the place. Would you approach a guy wearing a black plain round-collared t-shirt and jeans, and ask him if they have this or that shirt in size L? Yeah, same here.

Well, I guess it's not as bad as, say, a girl telling you that he looks like his boyfriend and whether he would mind measuring a shirt on him at F.O.S Sunway Pyramid... Wait a minute, that did happen to me!

Disclaimer: The last incident was way before I got married, back in my varsity days. Just in case anyone wants to know =)

The Hurt Locker. I review movies too...

I care not if this movie has hit Malaysian cinemas or will it ever, but this is one war movie you would not one to miss.

As far as recent war films go, there've been very few that has hit the sweetspot with audiences. In fact, I can't think of one at this time of writing. Probably Inglorious Basterds, just for the sheer ridiculousness, audacity and dark humor of it. The Hurt Locker is on another level, not just for war films but for the industry as a whole.

Jeremy Renner (whom I can only recall as the bad guy in SWAT with Colin Farrell) is Staff Sergeant Will James, the new leader of a bomb disposal squad after the team lost their commanding officer in the line of duty. He is as reckless as he is good at what he's doing. Leading a two-man team, all his experiences disarming and disposing of bombs made him an adrenaline junkie, with no regard for his and his team members' life. He's just like every single one of us - he just wants to be good at what he does... except what he does is to avoid himself from being chunks of human flesh.

There are a few characters and cameos - Guy Pearce was literally blown up quite early in this one, David Morse (the badass villain from Disturbia and the House series), Ralph Fiennes (who should be back leading a feature film, though I loved his cameo in "In Bruges"), just to name a few, but Jeremy Renner stands head and shoulders above everyone else. He OWNS this movie. He's the hero and the villain of this piece, and unlike Harvey Dent's turn in The Dark Knight, it was like he was both at the same time. I know it sounds impossible but he pulled it off with ease and he's garnering critical acclaim for his turn in this shindig and are being touted among fanboys to be the next Captain America. Just imagine Robert Downey Jr., Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, Edward Norton (if he ever comes back as Hulk) and Chris Hemsworth as the exiled Thor, together with the shield-slinging Renner in the much talked-about The Avengers movie... That's like comic orgasm to all fanboys right there.

The Hurt Locker wouldn't be The Hurt Locker without the affable Katherine Bigelow. A Director Guild of America (DGA) nomination punctuates just how awesome she pulled off, without sounding sexist, the feat of being in a lineup usually conquered by humanoids with balls. So raw was the emotion of The Hurt Locker, you would've mistaken it for sushi. OK, that was probably as cheesy as Mozarella can get but still, I hope she trounces ex-hubby James Cameron for the Best Director award come the Oscars. It just shows with the right amount of explosions, a movie can hit the right notes with audiences. Yes, I'm talking to you, Mr Michael "I-have-to-blow-s**t-up-in-my-movies" Bay.

Me love me some war films from time to time and I was glad it was this time. Moving human bombs to dead human bombs be damned, this movie blew my mind and I was glad I didn't see it coming.

Brain cells killed: 5 out of 5 (Maybe I came up with my favourite movies of 2009 list a bit too soon)

**Images are taken from IMDB**

A machine giving advice to humans... only in Shah Alam

Scenario: You woke up at 9:00a.m, late enough to make it to your 9:30a.m meeting. On your way to work, your car stopped in the middle of the road because you ran out of fuel. Yup, that's what you get for telling yourself "Aaahhh, I'll fill it up tomorrow morning.." With all the honking for blocking the traffic, you dialled for that much-needed help. "You have run out of credit to make a call. Please top up your..." was the reply from the sexy lady (who might be an uggo for all you know) on the other side of the phone. Finally, someone stopped to offer a push to the nearest petrol station.

You got to your office, only to find out you left your laptop at home. "Hey you! Where've you been??", the boss reminded you of that 9:30a.m meeting you missed. "You better have that report ready!" Yup, the same report you stayed up late to finish... only to leave it on your messy table at home. You end up finshing the day running precious errands like getting a Starbucks decaf caramel latte for your boss.

"This cannot possibly go any worse...", you thought to yourself. That's when you got caught in 3 hours of gridlock traffic. When you finally get out of the traffic hell, you realize your stock of Coke is running low at home. So, you decided to go Giant at Plaza Shah Alam, Section 9 to stock up. Just as you were about to leave the place, you realize you've just lost your parking ticket and you have to pay a RM30 penalty. You're moaning, sighing non-stop about your hugely unlucky day and your eyes are looking everywhere for a pick-me-up. There's no way you can go through the night with a smile on your face. Your mood is at an all-time rock bottom. So low, even an ant can step on it. So, you were about to leave the mall and you're at the exit, when you read this at the ticket machine...

DO NOT CRUMBLE, YOU'RE YOUR TICKET

Thank you, Plaza Shah Alam. You just made my day!

P/S - I kid you not. As you leave the place, take the right exit and it's there. I love MALAYSIA.

Which Singaporean restaurants have contributed to my fatness... so far?

I LOVE FOOD. Everyone does. But if you don't, it's best that you seek psychological help, you bullimic, anorexic freak. I eat a lot, and yet I've only put on a considerable amount of weight, not yet bordering boroi-ness. I'm sure it's not worms because those bottles of Zentel are not working.

The first thing I did upon knowing I was coming down to Singapore for 19 nights was finding great places to fill my insatiable stomach. I prefer asking people directly, rather than go on the Net to find these places. Experience beats information, all the time.

After 10 days here, the following are some of the places I've left with food fat in my body:

M.A Deen Biasa, Jalan Sultan.

The self-proclaimed Sup King, they serve the redest Sup Tulang (oxtail soup) I have seen in my entire life. I mean, they are literally red in colour. I had the $10 dish, with 6 bones, eaten with slices of baguettes. It was good, but to be frank, I don't see what the fuss is about though. I was a tad disappointed with the tulangs I got. There weren't much edible meat on it, and if there were, I had my fair share of battles with them. Fair enough, they serve just about everything else a Mamak restaurant would sell. The shop itself reminded me of all the Mamak place in Malaysia. All in all, a nice place to kill some time and money.

Ayam Penyet Ria, 1st Floor, Lucky Plaza, Orchard Road.
Me love me some Ayam Penyet. Translated as "Smashed Chicken", this Indonesian delight was recommended to me by just about everyone except the chicken. Before you get any idea, these are NOT "smashed" as in drunk chickens to the point they start to go "Moo!". They're just flatten, and NOT by a piano a la Zombieland either! I'm with my friend Mawar when she said this is probably the best Ayam Penyet she've had yet. Coupled with Cendol, they make up a great meal. I'd also recommend the Jus Alpukat (Avocado Juice), Soda Gembira, or the indominable and scary... Milo Dinosaur!

RedDot Brewhouse, Dempsey Road.
Upon celebrating the success of the project in Singapore, the project team chose this fancy place off Dempsey Road. With a colonial building as the premise, the place is just lovely with its lush settings and candle-lit lanterns. It has a very tranquil feel to it. It's certainly a place to kick back and have a drink or two (No alcohols for me. So don't get any idea!) I went safe here as I was not sure it was halal or not. So, I had the calamari for starters and the grilled salmon for main course. Good food, great company, awesome place.

Carnivore, Chijmes, Bras Basah Road.
Just a 5 minutes walk from our posh Fairmont Hotel, Chijmes is a place of eatery and more. Carnivore is just one of them, and as the name suggests, you can just go carnivorous on all the meat and fishes here. But not for me, though. Na'ah, it was non-halal. So I had the black plate, which means I'm on the vegetarian diet. Was I disappointed? Maybe a bit, seeing my UK colleagues downing pieces of meat down their throats. But, I was more than happy with my seafood, pasta and vegetarian dish, as well. So, nothing gained, nothing lost there. But, it can get annoying after a while when people start to come up to you asking whether you want this or that meat. I just felt like taking my knife and stick it up their ass to keep them away from me. I'm sure there's a similar place in PJ, which Shahrul, Zul, Along@Bo etc have gone to before. I might just give that a try one of these days.

I've also been to the Albert Centre Food Court near Victoria Street and Bugis Junction. The place reminded of Taiping, Perak in away because they have something like this near the bazaar. There were a good spread of choices here, and I had the Mee Hong Kong and Rojak, which were contrasting in satisfaction. The Mee Hong Kong was a delight, but the Rojak, for me at least, just didn't do it. My English boss was happy, at least. So that'd do.

I still have a good few nights to go. So, if you happen to read this, this is my plea for suggestions to more good food in Singapore.

P/S - 2 days to go until THE wifey gets here. I better start saving some money now... Just kidding!

P/S P/S - Or am I?

P/S P/S P/S - Ibu and Ayah are coming too! Wooohooo! Don't forget to bring you swimsuits! Hahahaha.

Green Day Live in Singapore reviewed from the eyes of the Brain Cell Killa!

Before I begin, I'd like to say sorry for the badly taken pictures. A Palm Treo 650 can only go so far.

This might be a late entry but I just want to share this with the whole world on Green Day's first trip to this part of the world after 21 years of existence. Yup, that fact was reminded to those who attended the concert by the energetic frontman, Billie Joe Armstrong, over and over.. and over again.

The Singapore Indoor Stadium was the venue, and what a venue it was. I had my fears, thinking how can an indoor stadium hold such an event. Well, it was allayed by the well-prepared organizers of the concert. I must say, everything went smoothly as all concerts should be.

As you might probably know, my boss bought me the ticket and that gesture will never go unnoticed. Apparently, he didn't have to go to the stadium with me, as they allow me to pick the ticket up, provided I can show a Letter of Authorization. It's safe to say, I got the ticket without any hassle. So, in I go from the North entrance!

As I got in, I forgot in which country I was because the hall was probably 60%-70% filled with foreigners. They might be expats or foreign exchange students or who knows what.. but they all came to the concert with one common goal - to rock their ass off to the sounds of Green Day!!! The opening act, Prima Donna, was... how should I say this... a bummer. Frankily, I never heard of them before and by the end of their set, my impression of their frontman was that he was a Mick Jagger wannabe. They tried too hard to pump the crowd up for Green Day, but like I said, too hard. There were some catchy tunes here and there, but never really got me going.

Just before Green Day went up, someone in a bunny suit got the crowd buzzing. Yes, a pink bushy, bunny suit. With two bottles of beer in hand, he was chucking them down like nobody's business, encouraged by the impatient crowd with cries of "Drink, drink, drink, drink...!!" Being the observant person that I am, only two people would pull this off - Green Day drummer Tre Cool and 'Mr. Frontman' Billie Joe, and I would lean more towards the latter.

Then, the lights went out, the background showed a very similar resemblance to Green Day's latest album, 21st Century Breakdown.. and there they were, running to the stage. Accompanied by three other sessionists, Green Day kicked off the night with '21st Century Breakdown'... only to stop in the middle of the song because some idiots in the standing section broke down the barrier. Fair play to Green Day, as Billie Joe wants 'to do it safely'. Breakdown was quickly followed with the first single out of the new album, 'Know Your Enemy'. I knew I was in for a good time.

Some new songs followed suit, which I thought was pretty cool but I was more looking forward from their Dookie and Insomniac days. 'Novocaine' was a good sign to come, so did the drop of the background to reveal the green words of Green Day from the cover of Dookie, which only means one thing... "We're going old school babyyyy!!!!" 'Basket Case', 'Welcome to Paradise', 'She' and 'Geek Stink Breath' were just a few of a long list of songs that made me hoarse. They also got the crowd into action by picking up chosen people from the crowd and get them to do stuff like crowd-surfing, shooting water guns and what not, but the highlight of it all, and it pains me to say this, was one lucky SOB who got to sing the whole of 'Longview' backed by the band. Yes, Billie Joe literally gave the mic to this one kid to have his 15 minutes of fame. The kid got his rockstar moment, backed by a legendary band in front of thousands of screaming fans. That was one FTW moment. The best of all, he pulled it off much to the joy of the crowd. You sir, are one lucky b*****d! Good job!!

I also thought the show was PG13 stuff. I guess I was wrong with Billie Joe mooning the crowd (yes, if he does that in Malaysia, that would be the last time we'll see them!), humping the stage and chucking down more beer. But I really don't give a horse-a** about that because Billie Joe, Mike and Tre were on top form all night. More songs from critically-acclaimed American Idiot ('Holiday', 'American Idiot', 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' etc.) followed suit, as I was smiling from ear to ear for just being there.

It might not be the best concert I've ever been to, but it was memorable enough for me and sits on my Top 3. After a good 2 hours of good entertainment and awesome live performances, Billie Joe finished off alone on his acoustic guitar with renditions of '21 Guns' and 'Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)'. I promised myself earlier not to include any cliches in my posts, but it was certainly one of the time of my life.

I know. Lame.

My boss vs. GREEN DAY.. Yeah, GREEN DAY the band!

Out of all the things I can do in Singapore, this was probably one of the last thing in my mind.

Every night before we go out for dinner, we hung out at a bar at the Swissotel. One night, I joined them a bit late, knowing they would chuck down a glass or two. As I joined them, there was a Green Day 21st Century Breakdown Tour Live in Singapore flyer on the table.

I picked up the flyer, and one of them asked me, "Do you want to go?"

"I would love to", I said.

My boss, to my surprise, then said...

"Let me get you a ticket."

"Let me get you a ticket."

"Let me get you a ticket."

"Let me get you a ticket."

"Let me get you a ticket."

You know that echo when you hear something devastating or delightful. Well, this was definitely the case of the latter.
 
As if that was not enough, I was really, really touched by his effort to get me the ticket. He tried the counter once, but it was closed. Then, he got hold of Sistic on the phone and was passed around like a rugby ball until he got hold of someone. And get this, since he bought the ticket with his credit card, he must come to the stadium to pick it up.
 
Here's the punchline - he's NOT GOING to the concert.
 
Yup, I didn't know he wasn't going to be at the concert because "it wasn't his thing". So, just imagine, your boss getting you a ticket for a concert he is not going and he's going to pick it up with you.
 
When they say "all bosses are bad", I'm definitely not jumping on the bandwagon.
 
So if you ask where I'll be tonight, I will answer...
 

I'll be jumping out of my socks, screaming to "Basket Case" with thousands of people at Singapore Indoor Stadium!